Word Count Perfection
by Pos-sess-ed1
Summary: Collection of Sess/Kag drabbles 100-400 word limits posted to Dokuga Contest on LJ. Ratings K-T and mostly humor, but some romance, angst, mystery. I do not own or profit from these characters, Rumiko Takahashi does.
1. Senses

**Prompt:** Please  
**Word Count:** 100  
**Genre:** Romance  
**Rating:** K  
**Date Posted:** 9/17/08

She trusted Sesshoumaru to lead her by the hand, since she was blindfolded. Her other senses strained to feed her the information her eyes could not provide.

The sounds of birds and insects teased her ears.

The scents of grass and various flowers tantalized her nose.

The feel of a warm gentle breeze tickled her skin.

The taste of a recent spring shower still tinged the air.

He stopped her and gently removed the fabric from her eyes.

Kagome gasped. It was the most exquisite garden she had ever seen.

"Does it please you?" he wanted to know.

"Oh, yes!"

A/N: Thanks for reading!


	2. Addict

**Prompt:** Sneak  
**Genre:** Mystery  
**Word Count:** 300  
**Rating:** T  
**Summary:** Someone is sneaking fanfiction.  
**Date Posted:** 9/24/2008

*****

As quiet as Death, a figure slipped from beneath the sheets.

Listening, they heard their mate's deep regular breathing, a signal of heavy slumber. Stealthily, they crept towards the door, trying to avoid the one floorboard that creaked when stepped on.

Two more steps to the goal…

SQUEEEEEK!

The figure froze in fear. Damn that spot!

The regular breathing continued on. Now to lift the foot soooo carefully…

squeeeek.

Teeth clenched, they listened for any changes from the bed. Detecting nothing, the figure tip-toed forward.

Finding the knob by touch, they slowly turned it. Another frozen moment when it "clicked."

So far, so good.

The door swung open easily, quietly, on well-oiled hinges. Stepping through the doorway, the hand slowly released the knob, gaining a softer "click" as the bolt slid forward. Closing the door almost all the way, the figure moved down the hall with purpose and confidence.

They made their way into the study, partially closing the door.

Settling comfortably behind the desk, a finger pushed the power button on the computer. The screen lit up and loaded in a few short minutes. Going online, they went immediately to their favorite fanfiction site. Typing in the username and password, 'Sakura' quickly checked the new updates, then moved on to the reviews for submitted stories. Disappointed there were no new ones, 'Sakura' then moved on to forum. After making a few witty entries, they went back to the updates and began to read.

At 3 a.m., 'Sakura' logged off the computer and slunk off to bed.

Getting back was easier. If you woke up your mate, it would be assumed you had gotten up to use the bathroom.

A few hours later, Kagome greeted her male. "Morning Sesshoumaru! How did you sleep?"

"Very well, and you, miko?"

"Never better."

A/N: This in no way resembles anyone I know, LOL! Thanks for reading! :)


	3. Marked for Life

**Prompt:** Cringe  
**Genre:** Romance, Hentai  
**Rating:** T  
**Warning:** Mild Violence  
**Word Count:** 200  
**Date Posted:** 10/05/08

*****

On her elbows and knees, Kagome mentally cringed. Sesshoumaru, behind her and full embedded, held perfectly still, growls ripping angrily from his throat. Minutes ago, they'd been engaged in a passionate session of happy-you're-home sex, and then he'd flipped her over to accommodate his favorite position.

The 'good idea' from an inebriated moment was no longer awesome. She and Sango had gotten tattoos the first night Sesshoumaru was gone on a two week business trip. Sango had 'Slayer' put on her left shoulder blade. Kagome, a white puppy with crescent moon and stripes.

Now in mid-rut, he was not a happy Daiyoukai. He sniffed the tattoo.

"Hn."

Kagome was suddenly glad the artist happened to be female.

"Sessh…"

An ugly snarl from him shut her up.

Slowly he began moving in her again, now with angry purpose. Kagome was confused, but when he picked up the pace, her building orgasm overrode all else. As she was peaking, he whispered savagely in her ear.

"You shall bear no mark but mine!"

She felt his youki rise as his teeth clamped on her collarbone.

His thumb pressed on her tattoo, his dokkasou cleanly burning it away as they climaxed, a mated pair.

A/N: I was not overly happy with the way this turned out. I really, really, REALLY wished for more words! Ah well, life moves on. :)


	4. In Hot Pursuit

**Prompt:** Dream  
**Genre:** General  
**Rating:** K  
**Word Count:** 400  
**Dated Posted:** 10/12/08

Lifting his nose higher, he could smell her. She was here, in this thick green forest, somewhere. He turned his head, one way, then the other, trying to get a fix on her position. He could hear her frantic panting breaths, her tired pounding feet. He headed stealthily in the direction she was moving.

Unfamiliar with these woods, he was cautious, but the need to catch her pushed him to be a bit reckless. Her miko powers were capable of detecting his presence. Not wishing to alert her to his proximity, he refrained from stretching out his youki to help him pinpoint her location. Unfortunately, it also prevented him from knowing the location of other youkai lurking in the area, possibly pursuing her too. The elevation of the danger factor heightened the excitement for him.

Maneuvering his way through the trees, her scent became slightly stronger and he thought he caught a glimpse of white through the underbrush. He quickly leaped forward, only to find she had escaped. A vicious snarl of frustration ripped from his throat. She had succeeded in eluding him again! Growling with determination, he stilled and patiently waited for her to betray herself. Soon enough, a twig snapped off to the left, and he moved swiftly in that direction.

As he traveled further ahead, a mist began to drift into the field of pursuit. He pushed on, guided by his sensitive nose and acute hearing. She was up ahead, just out of sight. The mist grew thicker by the minute. It spread her scent out wider and visibility was sharply curtailed. He licked his lips in anticipation, knowing her inferior senses would be severely hindered by the dense fog. He began to hunt in earnest. She was here, within reach, and he would find her.

Jaken was abruptly jolted from sleep by the frightening sound of growls and snarls. Sure they were under attack, he scrambled to be of some use to his lord. Slowly he realized the sounds were coming from the huge white form sleeping a few feet away.

Jaken stared in disbelief. Never had he seen Sesshoumaru-sama transform in his sleep. He was obviously dreaming about chasing something, the way his paws were twitching. Jaken decided against trying to wake him, and moved further away. Settling down to sleep, he wondered what his master might be pursuing, and if he had caught it.

A/N: This won first place... yay! Thanks for reading! :)


	5. Heat

**Prompt: **Fan  
**Word Count:** 100  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** K**  
Post Date:** 10/16/08

Heavily pregnant with his pup, she knew it could trigger premature labor, but she had gone without for so long her lust was almost unbearable.

She promised to abstain, and she always kept her promises, but the constant reminders fanned the flames of desire to inferno levels. She could not escape the constant barrage that assaulted her from all sides.

It was everywhere she looked. Television. Billboards. Radio. All tempting her to break her vow.

She could not have the real thing, with its sweet tingle of relief from the heat, and there was no substitute for an ice-cold Coke.

A/N: This snagged third place! YAY! Thanks for reading!


	6. Irresistible

**Prompt:** Lure  
**Genre:** General  
**Rating:** K  
**Word Count:** 300  
**Date Posted:** 10/27/08

How does one get in touch with a Daiyoukai? Telephone and e-mail were not invented, so no making an appointment or sending a message.

Sending Inuyasha was out of the question. Even if she could get him to agree to do it, she doubted the message would get delivered with the two of them hurling insults and fighting.

She couldn't wander through the forest calling for him either. She giggled at the mental image of walking through the woods, whistling and calling, "Here Sesshoumaru! Here boy!"

The thought of him gripping her by the throat with poison claws sobered her right up.

What she needed was a way to bring him to her. What would pique his curiosity; lure him into her presence without angering him?

She wanted to plan a birthday party for Rin. She doubted the little girl ever had one, or if she even knew when her birthday was.

Her plan was to help Rin pick a day and then celebrate it every year. Since this was such a human event, she needed Sesshoumaru in a good mood, willing to allow the little girl to participate.

An idea came to her during her last trip though the well. Kagome opened the package she brought from home that day.

She carefully laid the contents in a big cast-iron frying pan and set it on the rack over the fire she built just for this purpose.

The smell of the cooking food was drifting on the wind, its enticing aroma reaching his sensitive nose. Unable to resist the call, he followed the beguiling scent.

Very soon the Daiyoukai entered the clearing where the miko sat tending the fire. He moved closer to take a look at the contents of the skillet. Gazing up at him, Kagome smiled. "It's bacon."

A/N: I fry bacon whenever I need my family to rise and shine earlier than usual. It's such a friendly way to begin the day, LOL! Thanks for reading!


	7. Say What?

**Prompt:** Whisper  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** K  
**Words:** 200  
**Date Posted:** 11/03/08

The firelight flickered onto the faces of the hunters. The group had eaten their fill and now stared in companionable silence at the flames, each deep in their own thoughts. Kagome scooted close to Inuyasha and whispered to his ear. Surprised, he sat for a second or two, then leaned over to Miroku. Miroku concentrated hard to hear the hanyou's quiet words. Nodding his understanding, the monk moved to the side of the slayer. Sango listened intently, then drew back in shock.

SMACK!

Her hand connected with the holy man's face. In a huff, she went to Shippo and spoke in a hushed tone to his ear. Shippo looked confused, but shrugged and leaned over to Rin. Rin broke into a smile at his whisper and quickly went to the side of Sesshoumaru. His face showed no emotion as he took in the words of his ward, he merely inclined his head slightly toward Jaken to indicate he was wanted. Jaken approached his lord warily, and received the dog demon's instruction. Jaken, looking confused, spoke outloud to the group.

"Dragonhide boots are buttered in rain."

Laughter erupted as Kagome told them the original message.

"Naraku's baboon has the better brain!"

A/N: I love the 'telephone' game. This won second place! :) Thanks for reading!


	8. Floor Functions

**Prompt:** Floor  
**Genre:** General  
**Rating:** T  
**Words:** 100  
**Warning:** None, unless you fear math.  
**Post Date:** 11/07/08

*****

Math.

Her plague…

Her nemesis…

Kagome stared at the book in front of her, trying hard to understand. College math, like high school math, mocked her in its own language.

"The floor function of a real number _x_, is a function whose value is the largest integer less than or equal to _x_, and is denoted [x], floor(_x_), or int(x)."

It was hard to concentrate on floor functions when all she could think about was the function the floor had served last night.

Perhaps she should just go ahead to ceiling functions; they hadn't yet made love on the ceiling.

A/N: How could anyone concentrate on _anything_ with him around? :) Thanks for reading!


	9. A Little Respite

**Prompt:** Boredom  
**Word Count:** 300  
**Genre:** Introspection, Humor  
**Rating:** K  
**Dated Posted:** 11/12/08

It was quiet… a little too quiet. At one point in his life he would have barely noticed, but these days it was nothing short of ominous.

Once upon a time he was the Top Dog, the pyramid's apex, the ultimate predator. His highly evolved senses kept him informed, his intelligent mind kept him ahead. His world was ordered as he saw fit and he was rarely surprised by anything.

Today he was still the pinnacle of talent and skill, but common routine was a thing of the past.

There is a peculiar problem that must be solved when one excels at _almost_ everything.

Interesting challenges are imperative to staying perpetual boredom. For him, such a challenge arrived at his feet as he lay recovering from injury in the forest. She was so small and innocent he never considered her a threat to his current state of affairs.

He never knew precisely why he did it, but he restored her life when the opportunity arose. He allowed her to remain in his company and protected her.

The moment a human entered his life, the universe turned over. What had been neatly arranged became chaos. Sanity no longer ruled and events unfolded in bizarre twists of fate. Life was exciting and he would never again be bored, though he occasionally longed for more increments of peace and tranquility.

After Rin was firmly ensconced in his life, it opened the door for others.

These days he looked after Kagome and their young pups. A full-time job... Not only did the pups find trouble of their own, but it seemed to follow his mate wherever she went.

Deciding he was better off _investigating_ a crisis, instead of discovering aftereffects, Sesshoumaru prowled off to find the reason for the uncharacteristic silence of the house.

A/N: If any of you have watched kids, you know what I mean. Silence is NEVER a good thing unless they are asleep! Thanks for reading! :)


	10. Making An Early Night Of It

**Prompt:** Tease  
**Word Count:** 400  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** T  
**Date Posted:** 11/23/08

"Sesshoumaru, do I really have to go tonight?" Kagome asked, as she tried on another pair of shoes. She was trying to find the perfect pair for the elegant red cocktail dress she wore. She knew the answer, but she was hoping he would show mercy this time and let her stay home.

"Miko, you must be there. Your presence is the only thing holding the bitches at bay." He was making adjustments to his tie in the bedroom mirror as he spoke.

She sighed. It was true, if she didn't show, the women present would be convinced of a crack in the marriage and blatantly throw themselves or their daughters into his path. Being married to such delicious demon had its drawbacks.

"These dinners are so boring…" she complained. "It's all fine for you, afterwards you go and yuk it up with the guys over cigars and brandy. I'm stuck with those vacuous women and their vapid daughters having inane conversations about shopping, plastic surgery and vile gossip about who's doing what to who's chicken… The evening drags on forever!"

Sesshoumaru just stared at her from the mirror, one eyebrow raised, waiting for her rant to run out of steam.

"Miko, it is time."

Looking thoughtfully at her shoes, Kagome said, "Go ahead to the car, I'll be right there."

A short time later, they arrived at the home of their host. Walking up the drive, Sesshoumaru glanced sideways at his lovely bride, and could not help a feeling of pride. She really was a lovely lady with a heart of gold. Any male would be fortunate to be in her company, let alone mated to her. He was one lucky dog, and he knew it. Standing on the front doorstep, he pulled her into a warm embrace before ringing the bell. "I do love you, Kagome, and I know you are doing this only because I asked it." Kagome leaned into him, and rising onto her tiptoes, brought her face next to his ear. "I love you too," she whispered seductively. "Do you think we can make an early night of it?" He pulled back and narrowed his eyes at her. "Are you now going to be difficult?"

"Oh no, not at all! It's just I realize I left something of importance at home."

"What would that be?" He asked tiredly, as he pressed the doorbell.

"My panties."

A/N: *Snort!* This tied for third place! Hooray! Thanks for reading! :)


	11. Role Play

**Prompt:** Glimpse  
**Genre:** General  
**Word Count:** 100  
**Rating:** K  
**Date Posted:** 11/29/08

*****

Firelight reflected off her hair as she sat hunched over a book. Flanked by the two youngest members of their party, Kagome read a bedtime story for them.

The children were completely enthralled with the exciting tale. Eyes shining, they hung off her every word.

Sesshoumaru, ever aloof, sat some distance away… but he listened too. She read clearly, with nuance and inflection, bringing the story to life. She played every part to perfection, using different voices for all the characters.

As he listened, he realized he was catching a glimpse of Kagome growing into the role of a mother.

*****

A/N: Thanks for reading!


	12. The Wish

**Prompt:** Candle  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Word Count:** 300  
**Rating:** K  
**Date Posted:** 12/07/08  
**Summary:** It's a birthday party, what could go wrong?

*****

Once Sesshoumaru had given his consent, Kagome and Inuyasha went forward to her time to buy supplies and prepare for Rin's first birthday party. With everyone gathered around the guest of honor and her cake, Kagome felt very satisfied with her efforts.

She was especially pleased to see the half-brothers put aside their differences for the sake of one little girl.

Guessing at her age, Kagome lit the seven candles. As Rin dramatically sucked in a lungful of air, Kagome put her hand up, stopping the youngster.

"Wait! You need to make a wish first. If you get them all in one breath it may someday come true."

Rin nodded solemnly. Thinking for a few seconds, she smiled wide and once again prepared to blow out the candles. She carefully moved her wind over each one, getting them all.

Clapping her hands as the last one went out, she suddenly stopped, wide-eyed and opened-mouthed as one by one, they all popped back to life.

"Miko, what sorcery is this?" Sesshoumaru glared through narrowed eyes.

Kagome's gaze shot to Inuyasha, who'd picked out the candles. Suddenly she knew why he'd been so amused all day; he'd been waiting for this moment when the trick candles would re-light. Seeing her face turn thunderous at his ruination of Rin's wish, Inuyasha tried to wave her off.

"It was supposed to be funny! I forgot about the wish!" he cried desperately.

Sesshoumaru advanced on him menacingly, claws glowing green.

Their attention was drawn by Rin's sudden exclamation, "It came true! I asked for more wishes and I got them!"

Kagome groaned as she envisioned the afternoon consisting of Rin making wish after wish as the candles repeatedly sprang to life.

Turning towards the hanyou, she issued the dreaded words through clenched teeth. "Inuyasha, SIT!"

*****

A/N: This won second place! :) Thanks for reading!


	13. Stressed Backwards Is Desserts

**Prompt:** Snarl  
**Word Count:** 200  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** K  
**Date Posted:** 12/12 08

*****

The manner in which she pulled her car into the driveway told him she must've had a rough day. Back in the study, Sesshoumaru spooned a bite from his bowl into his mouth as he worked at the computer.

Soon enough he heard the front door being wrenched open, then slammed as she stomped into the house. Next came the flinging of her work attire… keys, shoes, briefcase, and jacket, all thrown aside with a vengeance.

He took another bite. He knew she would eventually find her way back to where he was sitting, and considering her mood, he could wait.

Kagome stomped to the bedroom and quickly changed into comfortable clothes, snarling under her breath about her day. Calming now that she was finally home, she made her way back toward front of the house.

Sudden realization hit him as he heard her move into the kitchen, pull out a bowl and spoon, and open the freezer door. He quickly shoveled the remaining bites into his mouth, and then hid the damning evidence in a desk drawer.

Her voice reverberated throughout the house as she yelled in renewed frustration.

"**What happened to all of the Cherry Garcia ice cream!?!"**

*****

A/N: Hopefully, this has never happened to you. This won first place! :) Thanks for reading!


	14. A Taste of the Sweet Life

**Prompt:** Drop  
**Genre:** General  
**Rating:** G  
**Word Count:** 100  
**Date Posted:** 12/19/08

*****

The enticing aroma wafted through the house. This magical scent had a way of saying 'home' like no other.

Sesshoumaru followed his nose to the kitchen where she was just pulling one sheet out of the oven before sliding another one in.

Gliding up behind her, he waited as she slipped the hot cookies onto the counter to cool. Picking one up gingerly by the tips of his claws, he bit into it, allowing the soft sweetness to melt across his tongue.

His eyes closed in ecstasy.

Amused, Kagome laughed as she dropped spoonfuls of cookie dough onto the sheet.

*****

A/N: This prompt came up right before Christmas, and all I could think about was COOKIES! Lol. Thanks for reading!


	15. Hit The Mark!

**Prompt:** Arrow  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** K  
**Word Count:** 300  
**Warning:** Remain downfield  
**Summary:** Kagome learns a valuable lesson.  
**Date Posted:** 12/28/08

*****

He felt the spiritual pressure right before it hit him. A purified arrow hit his heirloom armor and shattered it… again. Of course his armor would regenerate, but his brother's miko needed to be taught a lesson.

"Sesshoumaru! Oh gods, I AM so sorry! I wasn't aiming at you, the arrow just…"

With a blast from Tokijin he dispatched the demon she should have hit.

Back in camp he commandeered her bow and arrows. With her looking on he examined the weapons with a critical eye. There appeared to be nothing wrong with the bow. It was strong, straight, flexible and properly strung. That left the arrows. It was immediately obvious these were the contributing factor to her poor aim.

"Miko, how did you acquire these arrows?"

Kagome answered shyly. "I made them myself."

"Hn."

"Well it's not like I can run to a sporting goods store and buy them each time I run out!" she replied hotly.

"This Sesshoumaru shall instruct you in the art of making arrows. An arrow cannot fly straight if it is improperly constructed."

Kagome blushed, both at the criticism of her handiwork and at the idea of being in close proximity of the sexy demon lord as he taught her the skills she needed.

It took several lessons, but under Sesshoumaru's tutelage, Kagome finally learned how to properly straighten a bent shaft, tip, notch and fletch her arrows. It was hard work that required patience on both sides, but the end result was well worth it. She had a quiver of quality arrows.

It wasn't long before she needed to use them. Confidently she took aim at the enemy and fired. The arrow flew straight and true, right into Sesshoumaru's armor, shattering it.

Mentally sighing, he added archery lessons for Kagome to his list.

*****

A/N: This won first place on Dokuga Contest, second place Best Comedy IYFG (4Q, 2008), and second place Best Drabble Dokuga Awards (1Q, 2009). I'm grateful to all who enjoyed it enough to nominate and vote. You have my thanks. :)


	16. Taking One For The Team

**Prompt:** Gasp  
**Word Count:** 200  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** T  
**Warning:** Slight Gore  
**Summary:** Sesshoumaru will not suffer alone.  
**Date Posted:** 1/04/09

*****

The kill was quick, but not clean. Kagome's arrow sliced through the deer's jugular vein, a crimson spray erupting from its throat. It ran toward them in its death throes and Sesshoumaru blocked her from the gory shower with his body. He stood before her now, dripping blood like some vision from a horror movie, the deer dead at his feet.

"Miko," he said calmly, with exaggerated patience, "my appearance requires attention, I will return shortly."

Shocked, Kagome nodded mutely. She had never before seen him in any condition outside of pristine. Using demon speed, he disappeared from her sight.

Within minutes, she felt the ground quaking rhythmically beneath her feet, like something large was heading her way. Thinking a predator smelled the blood, she notched an arrow, ready to defend her kill.

To her surprise and relief a mountainous white dog appeared… dripping wet. The demon dog approached her, planted his feet and with grim determination, lowered his head slightly. Starting with his shoulders, he shook himself hard all the way back to the tip of his tail. Water flew from his fur in all directions.

Kagome gasped as the icy water sheeted over her from head to toe.

*****

A/N: My dogs love to share their water with people. Silly puppies! Thanks for reading!


	17. Fighting Like Cats and Dogs

**Prompt:** Mist  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** K  
**Word Count:** 400  
**Date Posted:** 1/09/09

*****

A few years ago, Kagome would've described herself as a cat person, not a dog person. Now a hanyou and his half-brother consumed her thoughts as she lounged across her bed, idly stroking her cat, Buyo.

The fat feline purred in contentment as he reclined down her chest and stomach. She wasn't home very often and he thoroughly enjoyed the attention she was lavishing upon him.

He'd watched her fill the backpack earlier with clean clothes and supplies. He knew she was leaving again. He didn't know where she went, but she always came back smelling of forest, campfires, and canines.

Buyo, like most cats, was no dog lover. He detested the odor of them covering his mistress and all she brought back with her. Although she showered and changed her clothes when she got home, his sensitive nose could still detect their stench. He could identify three, sometimes four different scents.

He wrinkled his nose in disgust. _What_ was she doing with all these canines? Rolling with them?

He began removing the last traces of them the only way he knew how. Relaxing his body completely, he slid his considerable weight over her prone figure. As she continued her ministrations to his silky coat, he stretched and wriggled, masking the canine scents with his own.

All too soon, Kagome pushed Buyo off. It was time she got going, before Inuyasha came looking for her. Gathering her things together, she bid her family goodbye. As the magic of the well enveloped her, she once again found herself 500 years in the past.

Tossing the backpack out of the well, she hauled herself over the edge.

A white figure quietly emerged from the forest and her heart skipped a beat. She had hoped Sesshoumaru would be the one to escort her back to their joint camp. Watching him approach in all his pale perfection, she became self-conscious of her appearance.

Looking down at her clothes, she was horrified to discover her white shirt was covered in calico cat hair.

As the Daiyoukai reached her, Kagome was still swatting at her shirt, trying to dislodge as much fur as she could.

He stopped suddenly and shook his head. His nose itched, then twitched. The sneeze that exploded from him sprayed her in a fine mist.

"That is _so_ gross! Now I need a bath!"

"You needed one anyway, you reek of cat."

*****

A/N: Ah, the subtle claiming wars pets wage! Thanks for reading!


	18. Speak!

**Prompt:** Regret  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** K  
**Word Count:** 200  
**Warning:** Sesshoumaru will make you eat your words.  
**Summary:** Kagome needs to think before she speaks.  
**Date Posted:** 1/16/09

*****

If only she'd been thinking…

She often chided Sesshoumaru for being too prideful, how it came before a fall. He regally declared it was not pride, but simply confidence in his abilities. She'd snorted at this but now regretted making any remarks. How could she have known it would come back to bite her?

_Why_ had she agreed to this? Looking back, Kagome realized he'd coerced her into declaring she **could** do it.

When asked how many languages she knew, she proudly replied. In school, Chinese dialects were no-brainers for her. She easily understood English while those around her struggled. French and Spanish quickly came under her grasp as well. She was confident she could learn any other language.

He casually mentioned a language he knew, but doubted she could master. Her temper getting the best of her, she hotly contested this.

But this new language _was_ proving quite a challenge. It was like nothing she had ever tried before. Most of it was non-verbal, and that kept tripping her up.

The Inu language was subtle and difficult to interpret, let alone convey. It was even harder for her since she did not possess the requisite dog ears or tail.

*****

A/N: This idea tickled me to no end! Thanks for reading! :)


	19. Repeat After Me

**Prompt:** Echo  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** K  
**Word Count:** 300  
**Warning:** Nothing offensive 'hear'.  
**Summary:** Some things don't bear repeating.  
**Date Posted:** 1/22/09

*****

Making their way down the path worn into the inclined cliff face, Kagome, Sango, Shippo and Rin finally reached the grassy plateau and the river. A sheer rock wall faced them, and the area had a private, secluded feeling.

The older girls washed clothes and filled water bottles. Once finished, they soaked their feet in the cool waters. Shippo and Rin amused themselves in the shallows splashing up rainbows and finding colorful rocks.

Inuyasha appeared at the top of the cliff.

"HEY KAGOME!" He shouted, waving his arm wildly.

His voice reverberated off the rock walls. "Kagome!… gome…"

They all laughed at the sound and began taking turns trying it out.

Kagome yelled, "INUYASHA! Yasha… asha…"

"HELLO! Hello… ello…" called out Sango.

"ECHO! Echo… cho…" cried Rin and Shippo simultaneously, falling down in the grass, overtaken by helpless giggling.

No longer orderly, the group filled the air with a cacophony of sound, the actual words becoming indiscernible.

The noise was bound to attract attention. Unmistakable, the aura of a demon could be felt descending upon the group. Fortunately this demon was an ally, not an enemy.

Silence fell as Sesshoumaru made an appearance on the cliff edge. He stood quietly for a moment, and then said in a firm clear voice, "Rin." He turned and walked back to the camp.

"Yes my lord!" she chirped. "Lord… ord…" floated gently on the breeze. She began making her way back up the trail.

Kagome, struck by something odd remarked, "It didn't echo! Why didn't his voice echo?!"

Rin stopped and turned; her eyes wide at the question. "Kagome, you know Sesshoumaru-sama dislikes repeating himself."

Then she continued up the path.

Kagome just stared at the girl's retreating back, trying to figure out how Sesshoumaru would be able to quell his own echo.

*****

A/N: This won first place, YAY! Thanks for reading! :)


	20. Insight

**Prompt:** Blind  
**Genre:** Introspection  
**Rating:** G  
**Word Count:** 100  
**Date Posted:** 1/29/09

*****

How could he have dwelled in such darkness and never realized it? His whole life was spent in the shadows, but he was blissfully unaware until the day his lips met hers in a searing kiss and the veil was abruptly torn away.

No longer blind to the splendors love brings to the soul, he saw the world fresh through new eyes.

He finally understood what his father tried to tell him years ago when he had refused to relinquish his weapons to his firstborn son. The Path of Supreme Conquest lay not through the sword, but through the heart.

*****

A/N: A small departure from my usual genre. :) Thanks for reading!


	21. Feeling a Little Green

**Prompt:** Flash  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rate:** T  
**Words:** 300  
**Warning:** Nudity  
**Date Posted:** 2/09/09

*****

Stomach churning, she skipped dinner that night.

She knew the others were concerned, but she could not reveal to them what had happened that afternoon. She fervently hoped they would never find out…

-----

The heat was oppressive. Inuyasha and Shippo were napping in a tree, while Sango and Miroku quietly slipped off hand-in-hand into the forest for a lover's stroll.

Kagome, wishing to be useful, took a basket into the woods in search of berries, herbs and mushrooms to enhance whatever was caught for dinner. She made a point of entering the forest opposite of where the lovers disappeared. The last thing she wanted was to stumble across them during an intimate moment.

She searched diligently and filled her basket with ease. Looking around, she spied the beach of a small lake and was delighted to see it. Not only did it confirm she was close to camp, but a little wading would be a cool treat.

As she approached the shoreline, she became aware of something splashing frantically in the waves. Closer inspection revealed a small figure flailing about in the water. It looked to be in trouble, possibly drowning. She rushed forward to help, actually touching the little creature before she recognized who it was.

"Jaken?" she asked, recoiling in shock.

Surprised, the kappa leaped up, unintentionally flashing the virginal miko with full frontal nudity. Kagome got an eyeful, and an earful, as the angry imp screamed at 'the vulgar human' for peeping. Blushing furiously, she turned and fled back to camp, the image seared onto her brain.

-----

Though the two packs had declared a truce, she didn't doubt he would complain to Sesshoumaru about her alleged voyeurism. She groaned at the thought of their next meeting. She KNEW she would see a smirk behind the Daiyoukai's eyes.

*****

A/N: She needs a case of eye-bleach. Poor girl! This shared third place with NiftyPaint24's 'Return'. (She's an awesome writer, check out her stuff!) Thanks for reading! :)


	22. Until Death

**Prompt:** Clock  
**Genre:** Angst  
**Rating:** K  
**Word Count:** 300  
**Warning:** I am in a melancholy mood.  
**Summary:** Though time is endless, it will eventually run out.  
**Date Posted:** 3/2/09

A/N: On Feb. 16, 2009 (one day after her 6th birthday) my bull terrier, Harley, choked on a chunk of rawhide she found and tried to swallow whole. The kids and I walked in the house to find her dead on the floor. When I felt like writing again, this was the result.

*****

**TICK**…

**TICK**…

**TICK**…

She sat in an overstuffed chair and mutely watched the clock, heard each click of the second hand with nerve-wracking acuity. Time is incredibly loud in a quiet room.

Normally, clocks are just glanced at as one hurries through the day. She thought how strange it all was, that a seemingly benign, inanimate object could be treated so casually, almost indifferently, while it displayed its immense power.

Time never stops. It possesses the ability to fly by, or slow to a crawl, without actually changing.

She was mesmerized, watching time actually _pass_. She waited for the next tick after the last… knowing it would come… always come.

It was oddly comforting; to know time itself is constant and has no end. It just marches on relentlessly forever, one tick following the next, measuring lives while oblivious to the events occurring in each of its seconds.

All those seconds would add up to minutes, all the minutes to hours, and the hours into days.

Once she tortured herself with the belief that if she watched long enough, waited long enough, the moment would finally arrive when everything would feel different, better.

It was true that with each tick of the hand, events were pushed into the past, and details became fuzzy. Time could not, however, dull her feelings.

The sharpness of the pain felt when death claimed her love, stole him from her, would not blunt. No clock could ever change that.

Despite the saying, time was no doctor. Nothing was going to heal the gaping hole in her heart. The edges of the wound were too ragged; the pieces impossible to sew back together.

Time took him from her, but she was human and therefore, mortal. The day would come when it would have to reunite them.

*****

A/N: Over a year later and it still makes me so sad. It won first place that week. Thanks for reading.


	23. ParentTeacher Conference

**Prompt:** Elbow  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** K  
**Word Count:** 100  
**Warning:** Don't take your overprotective spouse to one of these.  
**Summary:** It's never good to cop an attitude with the teacher.  
**Dated Posted:** 3/3/09

*****

Annoyed, he shifted uncomfortably in a chair made for a child.

"Why can I not have an adult's chair?" he hissed.

"Shush!" Kagome hissed back.

Saku's teacher sat down in the only adult chair and began.

"I'm Miss Oshiro. Glad you could come in today." She extended her hand, and Kagome shook it. Arms folded, Sesshoumaru ignored it.

"Your son is very bright, but I'm beginning to see some unwanted behavior…"

"_Perhaps_ he is **bored** from not being properly challenged!" Sesshoumaru growled.

A swift elbow to the ribs from his wife ensured his silence for the rest of the conference.

*****

A/N: This won third place, lol! If you've ever been to one of these, you know what I'm talking about... Thanks for reading! :)


	24. Dancing in Flowers

**Prompt:** Pierce  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** K  
**Word Count:** 300  
**Date Posted:** 3/16/09

Time spent in the garden during a summer sunset was a treat they both enjoyed. Their private sanctuary was vibrant with life and ablaze with color. Partnered with Sesshoumaru's talent for perfect composition, form and shape pleased the eye, while delicate perfumes gently tickled the nose.

Kagome strolled and pulled the rare weed, while her demon sat in a lotus position and gazed contemplatively at the large koi swimming lazily in their tranquil pond. These beautiful fish always hoped for a handout from him, and he often complied.

A soft breeze sighed through as the day insects droned the last encore and the night insects warmed up for their debut. It was peaceful and serene, the perfect time and place to unwind after a long hard day dealing with difficult people and situations, not to mention rush-hour traffic.

Her short ear-splitting shriek pierced straight through his self-imposed meditative trance. With a flash of speed worthy of his Daiyoukai status, he crouched before her in an instant, ready to defend his mate against any who would dare threaten her. He saw her feet beating a frantic tattoo in one spot while her hands swatted mindlessly at her shirt over and over at an impossible speed.

Recognizing the 'spider dance', Sesshoumaru relaxed his stance and waited until her brain abandoned the instinctive fight or flight drive and began its higher function capabilities once again. She finally stopped, out of breath and trembling from exertion, adrenaline still coursing through her veins. He raised one quizzical brow at her... and smirked.

She was angry he was 'laughing' at her, but it was hard to sound _anything_ but hysterical when her voice still shook with fright.

"I can't help it! I _know_ they are a million times smaller, but they just freak me out, _**OK?!?**_"

A/N: Ah, the 'spider dance'. I know it well. Thanks for reading! :)


	25. Spare Fare

**Prompt:** Spare  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** G  
**Word Count:** 400  
**Date Posted:** 3/23/09

The scent of roasting meat hit his sensitive nose before he reached the door. It was like nothing he had ever smelled before, and it made his mouth water in anticipation. His sweet wife greeted him as he entered the house, helping him out of his jacket and kissing his jaw.

"What are you making for dinner? I missed lunch today, and whatever that is, it smells wonderful!"

Kagome beamed with pride. "I am trying something new! A friend of mine told me about this recipe and it sounded good. It isn't quite ready, but it will be soon. Why don't you relax with a drink before dinner? I have a nice red wine open..."

Sesshoumaru was disappointed he had to wait, but a glass of cabernet while he flipped through the mail and checked the computer would hold him for now. He followed her to the kitchen and took the glass she offered. The oven, though hot, was not the source of the enticing aroma. He looked at her questioningly.

Kagome giggled as she poured herself a glass and led him to the patio door.

"I bought a grill today! Our dinner is cooking under the cover."

Sesshoumaru was slightly alarmed his mate had apparently bought, assembled and fired up a grill. That was a male's domain, and she was known to be a little accident prone. Still, it seemed to be in order… no acrid smoke boiling from the cover, no flames shooting out, so he gave her the nod of approval she was looking for.

A short time later, she called him from the den to come and eat. He sat down and gazed with a curious eye at the pile of bones covered in sauce on his plate. "Where is it?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" Kagome asked, confused. "Where is what?"

Sesshoumaru heaved a great sigh. He detested having to explain the obvious almost as much as repeating himself. "The meat appears to be missing. You have given me a plate with the bones."

A scowl briefly crossed her face as she explained. "These are spareribs. I spent all day on these."

Sesshoumaru disdainfully picked one up and held it before his discerning eye. "I can see why it is called 'spare' since there is nothing on it! Am I to gnaw these, like a common dog?"

Kagome, annoyed, raised one eyebrow in reply.

A/N: I love spare ribs, but it's a lot of mess for so little meat, LOL! Thanks for reading! :)


	26. Sweet Tooth

**Prompt:** Hush  
**Genre:** General  
**Word Count:** 100  
**Rating:** K  
**Date Posted:** 3/28/09

Slipping silently into the room, the demon listened for the deep rhythmic breathing that assured him the sleeper was unaware of the intrusion.

Carefully he slid one hand under the pillow and searched with blind fingertips for what he knew must be there. Finding it, he replaced what he was taking with a large silver coin and withdrew from the boy's room.

"Mother, what does the tooth-fairy DO with all the teeth?" Saku asked at breakfast.

Kagome leaned in and said in a loud whisper, "It's all very hush-hush, but _I_ heard inuyoukai fangs are sometimes made into swords…"

"SWEET!"

A/N: At the time I wrote this, I had a nephew who responded to anything good with, "SWEET!" It was funny! I could only imagine a young inu having the same reaction to the gift of a sword made from his own tooth. :) Thanks for reading!


	27. Distraction

**Prompt:** Rock  
**Genre:** Introspection  
**Rating:** K  
**Word Count:** 200  
**Date Posted:** 4/7/09

Calling a halt around midday, Sesshoumaru took himself off from the others while they rested and prepared a quick meal. Comfortably seating himself in the shade of a large tree, he toed off one leather boot and ran his fingertips around the interior. Removing the offending item, he replaced his footwear and examined the little pebble thoughtfully.

Somehow this small stone slid down a fold in the silk of his hakamas and found its way into his shoe. Once inside, it proceeded to make itself known to him with every step he took. While not particularly painful, it nevertheless commanded his attention.

This unassuming, insignificant little object managed to accomplish the one thing not many could lay claim to. It forced the powerful Daiyoukai to stop and look at it.

His gaze drifted across to Kagome as he rolled the stone smoothly between his fingers. She was not unlike the tiny rock. Though it was mostly unintentional on her part, the girl was distracting and occasionally irritating.

The miko somehow slipped into his thoughts, but unlike the pebble, he could not just flick her away. He was finding it near impossible to ignore her, or his growing feelings for her.

A/N: I hate rocks in my shoe, lol! This won first place :) Thanks for reading!


	28. School of Fish

**Prompt:** Smart  
**Word Count:** 300  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** K  
**Date Posted:** 4/14/09

Seeming to standing guard on the bank of the small river, Kagome's shoes kept her socks safe until she returned from the water. The young woman currently crouched mid-stream with Rin. She often admired the skill the girl displayed at effortlessly snatching fish from the water, so she finally asked Rin to teach her how to do it.

"Watch carefully Kagome. Remain very quiet with your hands held like this." Rin held hers below the surface of the water, about six inches apart. "Wiggle your fingers slowly until a fish approaches, then move quickly to grab him or flip him onto the bank! It's easy once you learn how."

Kagome stood very still and watched as Rin patiently waited for an unsuspecting trout to approach. Before long, one swam up and inspected her small digits undulating hypnotically. It moved closer and closer, until it was between her hands, allowing the girl to 'tickle' its belly. Faster than the eye could follow, Rin grabbed the slippery fish and held it aloft, clear of the water.

"See? Easy!" she proclaimed triumphantly. "Now you try it."

Rin made her way to the shore with her thrashing prize clutched tightly to her chest.

The miko bent low over the water and waited with her hands poised just so, trying to copy what Rin showed her. Several minutes passed when she noticed Sesshoumaru stroll up with Jaken.

"Lord Sesshoumaru, I'm teaching Kagome to catch fish!" Rin proudly announced. She beamed at the nod of approval.

The kappa immediately began reprimanding her. "Foolish human, you can't teach that woman anything."

"Master Jaken, what do you mean?"

"Stupid girl, she first has to be smarter than a fish!"

A stone bouncing off his skull made him shut his beak so the lesson could continue without further interruption.

A/N: A well -timed pebble, to be sure! Thanks for reading!


	29. Hand in Glove

**Prompt:** Ready  
**Word Count:** 400  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** K  
**Warning:** Things are about to get messy.  
**Summary:** Kagome discovers why Sesshoumaru wants her and only her.  
**Date Posted:** 4/19/09

He would never discuss it, but there was something weird going on with him, and she needed to confront him. Things just couldn't go on this way, it was plain crazy!

"Sess, I don't see how we can continue our current relationship unless you are ready to admit you have a problem."

"Hn."

"Don't 'Hn' me and think that takes care of it! This is serious and we need to talk. You can't keep living this way; eventually people will notice and ask questions. It's surprising they haven't already! I'm sure there are many fine doctors out there who can help you. Once you come clean about it, you'll feel better and you can begin to walk a path of recovery."

"Miko, there is nothing wrong with this Sesshoumaru. I am always spotlessly clean, so you will cease this ridiculous obsession with my lifestyle."

"I'm obsessed? This is coming from a guy who won't ever remove his spiky armor because someone might get too close? The same demon who wears shoes, even though no one else in his pack deems it necessary, even Rin, who is human?"

"The armor is an heirloom, I wear it out of respect, and the shoes are comfortable."

Kagome snorted. "Denial in not just a river in Egypt… You wouldn't re-attach your arm after that dirty, rusty blade cut it off! Noooo, you chose instead to wait to re-grow it. What about your clothes? You _always_ wear white, even **after** Labor Day, and you don't think you have a problem?"

Sesshoumaru remained his ever-stoic self. "I did not know where that blade had been, and I look good in white, there is no problem."

Grinding her teeth in frustration, Kagome tried one more time. "You go so far as to **encase** yourself in a glowing bubble… not exactly normal! You are a germaphobe, admit it! Frankly, I'm amazed you could bring yourself to date me!"

"You are my perfect mate, you are unlike any other."

Now that she thought about it, why was he courting her? Wasn't she, in the words of the Daiyoukai's retainer, 'a filthy human'?

In that moment, it dawned on her. She whirled on him, accusing, "It's because I'm _pure_, and I can purify things with my aura! THAT'S why you're able to touch me! By Kami, you **do** need help!"

Sesshoumaru merely raised a brow; really… what _was_ the problem?

A/N: Just having a bit of fun with big dog. This won joint second, YAY! Thanks for reading! :)


	30. Let the Fur Fly!

**Prompt:** Pet  
**Rating:** K  
**Word Count:** 400  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Warning:** May cause gagging or feelings of being flocked.  
**Summary:** Shedding season has arrived.  
**Date Posted:** 6/15/09

Wiping the back of her forearm across her perspiring brow, Kamone switched the vacuum cleaner off, set it upright and proclaimed herself finished cleaning the house.

While spring had many great aspects… new green leaves, aromatic perfumes of flowers, and sweet baby animals… it had one big drawback she dreaded over anything else in her existence.

It marked the beginning of shedding season.

Though she loved running her fingers through the soft, silky texture of it when it was attached, the hair, when shed, was nowhere near as appealing.

There was just _**so**_much of it, and it got everywhere.

If she didn't sweep it up every day, it simply got out of hand. Within a short time span it flocked the house, quickly covering the floor, the furniture and her clothes.

A slight breeze had it rolling across the floor like surreal tumbleweeds and blocking the ventilation intake ducts of their home.

Finding it in the food killed her appetite. There is nothing as disgusting as pulling a piece of someone else's hair out of your mouth as you try to enjoy dinner.

Washing it? That was a whole other problem.

He insisted it be shampooed at least twice a week, if not more often. She couldn't see why, outside of **his** obsessive need. How dirty could it possibly get?

At best the hair clogged the drain; at worst it plugged the pipes. She was tired of making excuses to the plumber when it was obvious there was no large pet present in the home.

She knew it wasn't _all_ her mate's fault; after all he couldn't help who, or what, he was. She just wished Sesshoumaru was a little less diligent about the amount of time he spent grooming and stroking it each day.

A little less attention paid to it, or even if he just did it outside, would work wonders for cutting down on the sheer amount she battled each day inside the house.

Her occasional thought of suggesting a 'summer cut' was unrealistic, but tempting nonetheless!

As if on cue, Sesshoumaru strolled into the house.

Mokomoko was perched on his shoulder and he was petting it, as usual. With each stroke, a puff of hair pulled loose and became airborne; drifting languidly until it settled on any surface it came in contact with.

Resigned to her fate, Kagome sighed and put the vacuum cleaner away.

A/N: Can you tell I've lived with very furry dogs before? LOL! This won joint first place... :) Thanks for reading!


	31. Nightclub Wolf

**Prompt:** Snap  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** T  
**Word Count:** 100  
**Warning:** Packs a punch.  
**Summary:** Kagome axes an unwanted suitor.  
**Date Posted:** 6/22/09

Glittering eyes watched the ladies room door like a predator staking-out a Serengeti waterhole.

The beauty in the scarlet dress emerged. Blocking her way, he let out an appreciative whistle.

"Hey Red, nice caboose… how 'bout you let _me_ drive your train?"

"That is one big mouth you have!" Kagome replied angrily.

"All the better to eat you with…" He leered, while licking his chops.

A swift uppercut closed his jaws with a snap, causing him to yelp when he bit his own tongue.

"Trouble?" Sesshoumaru asked when she returned to their table.

She smiled. "Nothing I couldn't handle."

A/N: I had sort of had Kouga in mind but in manga he was brash, not rude to Kagome. This won third place! :) Thanks for reading!


	32. Smokin!

**Prompt:** Bang  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Word Count:** 200  
**Rating:** K  
**Date Posted:** 7/13/09

"You have done enough! Do NOT come near me!"

Exasperated, Kagome placed her hands on her hips. "There is no _way_ you are placing the blame on _me_ for this!

She took a step forward… he took a step back.

"I will seek _professional_ help."

"Oh come on, what are they going to do that I can't? It's going to stink until it's removed."

He eyed her warily. The acrid smell of it was pretty bad, as was the appearance. Crispy curled tendrils of varying length fell within his field of vision. Brittle to the touch, it crumbled to ash as he fingered what was left.

Reluctant, he nodded his consent.

Kagome smiled and moved forward, assessing the damage. "I admit I may have used a little too much lighter fluid. Who knew flames could shoot so high? Good thing the rest of it was pony-tailed…"

He listened to her prattle on as he watched her trim what was left of his bangs. She didn't do it on purpose, and they would grow back.

Kagome knew he wouldn't be upset for long over this minor mishap, but nevertheless, she wisely decided to let him discover his missing eyebrow for himself.

A/N: Nooooo... not the eyebrow! This won third place, hooray! Thanks for reading! :)


	33. Who's Bad?

**Prompt:** Wall  
**Rating:** K  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Words:** 300  
**Date Posted:** 8/17 09

"Kagome, explain this to me." It was not a request.

Washing vegetables in the sink and thinking about the week ahead, Kagome missed the tone in his voice.

"Huh?" She glanced over her shoulder to see Sesshoumaru holding an article of clothing.

"Oh, that's a T-shirt Saku picked up while we shopped for back-to-school today. All the kids wear them. They are made of cotton so they're soft and when you hold them up, they look like a 'T' so that's why they're called T-shirt."

Sesshoumaru coldly stared at her. "This one knows what a T-shirt is. Who is this being printed on the front?"

She laughed at his countenance. "Oh THAT! He's just someone who is very popular with kids these days. I thought it was quite amusing! Don't you think it's funny?"

The greatest demon Japan has ever known raised one eyebrow. "Is he a demon?"

Kagome gaped. Sesshoumaru was serious. "Uh, no… he's not a demon…"

"A god then?"

Fighting a fit of the giggles she managed to choke out, "Some people might think so, but no… he's human."

Sesshoumaru's lips thinned. His tolerance for being laughed at only extended so far. He pointed to the lines of print on the shirt. "These abilities are not only remarkable; they defy the natural laws of physics humans must obey."

He read one of the lines.

"This claims his domicile has no doors because he possesses the ability to walk through walls."

Kagome stopped laughing immediately. "Sess, it's not real. The abilities, I mean. The person is a real human, but he can't DO the things the shirt says!"

"Hn. Do not think you can protect him now. 'Chuck Norris' sounds dangerous; this Sesshoumaru must pay him a visit."

Kagome sputtered after him as he turned and left, smirking.

A/N: LOL! Why does this crack me up still? It placed third, YAY! Thanks for reading!


	34. Rear Admiral

**Prompt:** Stern  
**Word Count:** 300  
**Rating:** T  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Date Posted:** 5/8/10

"We're supposed to be taking this class for FUN! This is not so you can rip the head off any guy who happens to look at me!"

"Do not exaggerate. I removed the head of no one, though admittedly, _that_ would be fun. That male was not 'looking' at you Kagome, he was ogling you."

"Sesshoumaru, I asked the instructor a question and that guy turned around to see who spoke. He was not ogling, leering or whatever else you might think. He was merely curious!"

"Curiosity killed the cat," he growled softly.

"Well thank the gods you didn't go that far! I really like this class and I'm assuming you _murdering_ other students would be frowned upon!"

"I would only dispatch the lecherous, male ones…"

Kagome glared.

Sesshoumaru infuriated her further by appearing indifferent. "_You_ selected the subject miko. Perhaps you should have chosen a class less male-oriented, like Flower Arrangement."

"I had _us_ in mind when I picked 'Boating'! This is something I always wanted to learn and one of the few subjects you know very little about, but if you can't control yourself any better than you did today, you can stay home and I'll go alone!"

Sesshoumaru huffed indignantly. "My behavior hardly warrants this tirade."

"You bared your teeth and _snarled_. You had the poor guy running from the room in fear!"

Sesshoumaru barely suppressed the smirk he knew would only land him deeper in hot water. That disrespectful male left because he needed a new pair of shorts.

"If I see you so much as give anyone a stern glance, you're through. Think about it!" she threatened as she left.

"You need not worry," he murmured as he watched her delectable rear-end sail out of the room, "I save all my _stern_ looks for you…"

A/N: This was written and ready to go, then my computer locked so it never got posted in time for the contest. Thought I'd share it anyway. :) Thanks for reading!


	35. Offensive Driving

**Prompt:** Red  
**Word count:** 100  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** K  
**Date Posted:** 2/23/10

Mashing her foot down on the accelerator, Kagome rocketed the car through the intersection just as the light turned red. Sparing a quick glance at her passenger, she rolled her eyes at his death-grip on the door.

"Must you drive like a lunatic?"

"Oh give me a break Sesshoumaru… such drama! I had to squeeze that lemon because the guy behind me was!"

"Miko, you were required to complete an education course for driving?"

Kagome laughed. "You _know_ I graduated from a defensive driving class, with top honors!"

Sesshoumaru snorted derisively. "Are you certain it was defensive and not _offensive_?"

A/N: I can clearly see Kagome with a lead foot, lol! Thanks for reading! :)


	36. Pet Peeve

**Prompt:** Neck  
**Word Count:** 100  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** K  
**Date Posted:** 3/21/10

Sesshoumaru laughed as Kagome wrestled with his squirming pelt. Mokomoko was easily winning.

"Miko, this is an exercise in futility. Concede."

"Sesshoumaru, it's not some pointless whim, it's the _law_. All pets have to wear a license. To comply, I need to figure out how to make it _stay_ on him."

"Mokomoko is not a pet."

"He'd be viewed as one."

"You are attempting to place a necklace upon a being that is essentially neck-less."

"It's not a necklace; it's a collar with his tags. Neck-less?!? He's nothing _but_ neck, that's the problem. He keeps slipping through it. Help me!"

A/N: I admit it, I am a Fluff-fanatic. This won first place, YAY! Thanks for reading! :)


	37. Treasured Memories

**Prompt:** Bury  
**Word Count:** 400  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** T  
**Date Posted:** 4/19/10

* * *

The shrine's goshinko had protected the grounds for hundreds of years. When trees have life spans that rival daiyoukai, they carry traditions, stories and memories into future generations.

For Kagome, that particular tree held special significance; she considered it a lifelong friend. She grew up in its shadow and when she first fell through the well, it was the only familiar 'face' in strange surroundings… though finding a hanyou pinned to it was completely unexpected. If it hadn't been for that tree, she might never have met Inuyasha… or his half-brother.

Kagome wanted her children to share a similar closeness to their home. What could be more natural together than Inu and trees? With this in mind, Kagome decided each milestone in her marriage to Sesshoumaru should be commemorated by a special planting.

For this, their first anniversary, she chose a beautiful weeping cherry. Today's slender sapling would grow over time; its graceful limbs arcing over to touch the ground, belling all around the trunk.

In her mind, she could see it covered in springtime's delicate blossoms, providing their daughters a secret fairy kingdom. Later, when leaves replaced petals, their sons could use it as a jungle hide-away or mighty fortress.

"Ma'am? You know where you want this?"

Roused from her musings, Kagome smiled at the two men hired to plant the young tree.

"I'd like it back there, please," she said, pointing to a rather sparse corner. For some reason, grass had a tough time growing in that spot. Hopefully, improving the soil for the tree would aid the lawn there too.

Grabbing shovels and peat-moss, the men hauled the balled-and-burlapped cherry across the yard.

While they started the work, Kagome began planning where the tree honoring their first child should go.

After a few minutes, she noticed the men stopped digging. They knelt on the ground, talking and poking the dirt. Finally, one of them reached in, took hold of some kind of netting and pulled it gingerly from the ground. Then the second man reached in and grabbed another piece of material, this one a different color and texture than the first.

As Kagome approached, the men pulled scrap after scrap out, creating a pile. To her utter embarrassment, she recognized the 'netting' was once her lacey undergarment... shredded during a passionate encounter.

"Ma'am, do you have a dog?"

They had found Sesshoumaru's trove of panty remnants.

* * *

A/N: Dogs. Why do they do these things? Thanks for reading! :)


	38. Crucified

**Prompt:** Billow  
**Word Count:** 200  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** K  
**Summary:** Jaken suffers for his master's generosity.  
**Date Posted:** 4/27/10

* * *

The length of elaborate silk billowed in an unruly fashion, fluttered by the breeze swirling through an open window. A petite hand smoothed it down, taking its measure and then carefully marking it.

The little green kappa sighed wearily.

He thought Sesshoumaru-sama hated humans, with the exception of Rin. Why would he be indulging _this_ one? And with such a costly, extravagant gift! Could she properly appreciate the gesture, _understand_ the significance, with her lack of education and refinement?

The rich fabric chosen by the master for this kimono was exquisite and valuable in its own right, but combined with the expense of the delicate materials used for all the robes involved in proper layering, the ensemble would be priceless. This gift was fit for a princess, not a miko of questionable heritage! He doubted she even knew how to wear clothing this fine, considering the ridiculous outfit she was always dressed in.

Though Jaken could not understand the master's thoughts in these matters, he would not question them either. A booted foot would be the reward for interrogating the Daiyoukai. So he resigned himself to suffering in relative silence, arms outstretched, while he was used as a clothes dummy.

* * *

A/N: Poor little kappa demon, he never gets break. Thanks for reading! :)


	39. The Price of Vanity

**Prompt:** Flat  
**Word Count:** 100  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** K  
**Summary:** Vanity has a price, but does Kagome get what she paid for?  
**Date Posted:** 4/28/10

* * *

The child's intimate whisper barely rippled the placid atmosphere of early dawn.

"Are they tentacles from Naraku?"

_His_ voice resonated, even while whispering.

"Hn. They do not _appear_ harmful…"

"I like them; they're so pretty!"

"Rin. Do not touch."

Kagome felt something gently prod her head, then the horrible stench of burning hair filled her nose. She lurched up wide-awake and swatting at her skull, startling the two hovering over her sleeping bag.

"NO! NO! NO!"

Green acid burned her fingers as she frantically pulled the colorful flex-rod curlers from her scalp-- flat, lifeless hair no longer her biggest concern.

* * *

A/N: Poor Kagome can't even sleep without attracting trouble... lol. This won third place, hooray! Thanks for reading! :)


	40. The Mother of All Days

Prompt: Lick  
Word Count: 300  
Genre: Humor  
Rating: K+  
Summary: Mother Nature may win the battle, but Father Time wins the war.  
Date Posted: 5/9/10

* * *

Kagome balanced the coin on the end of her fist, thumb tucked under and ready to flip it.

"Heads, we go to my mother's house first. Tails, we go to yours."

Sesshoumaru frowned. "I prefer Heads. Why do I always have Tails?"

"Because I called it and _my_ family doesn't have actual tails. The chances of it landing on either side are the same, so it shouldn't matter."

"We must visit both, why are we arguing about which is first?"

"Fine, let's go my Mom's."

Sesshoumaru groaned. "Your mother regrets you did not marry Inuyasha and it is too _early_ to face your grandfather's attempts to destroy me with sutras written on Super-Sticky-Post-It Notes. They pull out hair when removed. For his own safety, I suggest we go later in the day when he is napping."

Kagome's brows furrowed as her hands went to her hips. "You'd threaten a harmless old man? He's a shrine priest, an elder who deserves our kindness and respect."

Sesshoumaru muttered under his breath, "I am older than he is, _and_ a Daiyoukai. If _anyone_ is deserving of respect…"

Luckily Kagome was warming to her rant and didn't hear him.

"You think _I_ want to observe you revert to being a Mama's Boy first thing? It's disgusting watching her fawn over you and to see you lap it up! What's worse is you always come out of her house with entitlement issues that take _days_ to reverse. I don't even want to _talk_ about her inevitable grilling of when we're planning to produce an heir and other assorted grandpups! I get a headache just _thinking_ about it…"

Horrified, Sesshoumaru realized he would eventually have _three_ mothers to appease yearly on this day.

Thank the gods Father Time overruled Mother Nature by giving males shorter life-spans.

* * *

A/N: My in-laws are quite nice actually, but I have heard stories from friends... O.o Thanks for reading!


	41. Unfit To Be Tied

Prompt: Cloud  
Word Count: 400  
Genre: Hentai-ish, Humor  
Rating: T  
Summary: Old habits die hard.  
Date Posted: 5/17/10

* * *

White filmy curtains breathed with cool night air. Ominous shadows lurked the corners of the large bedroom, held at bay by a dozen candles that flickered and guttered when unruly breezes tried to snuff their life.

Wrists and ankles secured to bedposts kept the well-toned limbs spread as a naked captive lay facedown on the wide bed.

Weight applied by a knee pressed the center of the spine kept them pinned, like a butterfly. Warm hair pooled on chilly flesh as a voice, dark and low, swept in and whispered just behind the earlobe.

"You are not permitted to speak." A silken strip was forced between clenched teeth and roughly tied.

The captive's breathing grew heavy and ragged, laboring through the gag.

Tendrils of smoke danced as cloying incense polluted the air, clouding the mind. Blood pounded eardrums as their beating heart thudded harder.

"You are not permitted to gaze upon me." A soft blindfold covered rolling eyes, shutting out candlelight.

Bare skin pressed hot onto the lower back as predator straddled prey. A hand winding hair tight to the nape controlled movement of their head.

The voice hissed. "You belong to _me_, little toy... to receive pleasure or pain at _my_ whim. No one knows you are here. No one is coming to save you."

The victim involuntarily shivered as the edge of a long nail trailed gently, lovingly, down a high cheekbone to trace their jaw line. A dangerous tip travelled across the tender throat to a sensitive, vulnerable neck. Four sharp points scraped across languidly before rising up and over a pale shoulder, beginning the slow mapping of each ridge in a well-sprung, heaving ribcage.

Gooseflesh rose and an evil chuckle, devoid of mirth, pushed apprehension higher.

Suddenly the grip released, weight and warmth disappeared. Agonizing seconds of silence passed until, from nowhere, a spot of pain blossomed on one muscled flank. One point followed another… each a drop of burning acid.

_Enough!_

Sharp teeth sliced easily through the silk gag, a shaky voice choking out, "BISCUIT-EATER!"

Bound limbs snapped their velvet tethers. Sesshoumaru gathered his knees under him and sat up, panting heavily while pulling off the blindfold.

Startled, Kagome jumped back from the bed, bobbling the candle she held.

"After _everything _you've lived through, you use our safe word over a little hot wax?"

He shrugged, unapologetic. "I am not used to being the underdog."

* * *

A/N: It's hard to give up control when you have such issues about it, lol! This snagged a joint third place, YAY! Thanks for reading! :)


	42. Panty Raid

**Word Count:** 200  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** T  
**Warning:** Unmentionables are not mentioned.  
**Summary:** Jaken goes raiding for his lord.  
**Date Posted:** 5/18/10

* * *

"Obtain a belonging of the miko. I wish to know more about her. Do not return empty-handed."

Jaken nervously scraped a bow before leaving his lord's presence.

_This task is as dangerous as it is distasteful, but I dare not fail!_

Three days later, the kappa stumbled back into camp, his clothing dirty and torn. Though he'd made an attempt to clean himself up before arriving, the toad looked worse for wear. It couldn't be helped. Sesshoumaru-sama was waiting and Jaken didn't want to hold this procurement any longer than necessary.

"My lord, I have succeeded in liberating an item, at great personal risk!"

Sesshoumaru inclined his head, giving him permission to approach. The little demon carefully withdrew the purloined item from his sleeve, presenting it carefully, as if it were a poisonous viper.

Sesshoumaru took it, using only the tips of his claws. The lacey scrap dangled before his discerning eye.

Discretely, he sniffed. Jaken had foolishly taken bait.

How fitting the garment Kagome wore under her short kimono resembled a spider's snare. Did she imagine he was no better than an insect, to be lured so easily?

OoOoO

Elsewhere, Kagome fumed. "Miroku, if I find out _you _took them…"

* * *

A/N: I apologize for this bit of silliness. I have no idea what came over me! :) Thanks for reading!


	43. Show Dog

Prompt: Turn  
Word Count: 100  
Genre: Uh... Humor?  
Rating: K  
Warning: He's too sexy for Milan, New York and Japan...  
Summary: He's always best of show.

* * *

Stalking boldly down the catwalk, he tugged the designer shirt free from the slacks and expertly unbuttoned it… one-handed.

Paparazzi cameras flashed like a field of exploding flowers.

Enthusiastic applause nearly drowned the edgy music as Sesshoumaru, No-Last-Name-Needed, struck his signature pose.

Turning, he powerfully strode back to midpoint. His long silver plait flew as he spun halfway-round and held the 'curtain' back from his sculpted torso.

Glaring a few seconds, he snarled and strutted off.

Backstage, his handler, Kagome Higarashi, popped a toast point piled high with Pâté de Foie Gras into his mouth.

"Great job! You're _so_ FIERCE!"

* * *

A/N: I confess, I spent too much time out in the sun before writing this. Somehow it melded together dog shows and fashion shows... This won a joint first place with LordRandallsLady, YAY! (You can find her link under my favorite authors if you're interested.) Thanks for reading! :)


	44. What's For Dinner?

Prompt: Grass  
Word Count: 300  
Genre: Humor  
Rating: K  
Summary: A most educational dining experience!

* * *

It was the end of a long day. A pleasant dinner was winding down for the newly combined pack of Inuyasha and Lord Sesshoumaru.

Jaken took Ah-Un off to graze while Inuyasha disappeared, presumably to sleep off his stuffed belly. Sango and Miroku went to fetch water… which left Kagome alone with Shippo, Rin and Sesshoumaru.

A kind girl, Rin offered some of the fish she had caught.

"Oh, no thank-you," Kagome said as she gently refused. "I'm vegan now."

With a gasp, Rin drew back a little. "You're no longer human?"

Sesshoumaru, reclining quietly on the outskirts of the campfire, felt his interest in the miko sharpen.

"Of course I'm still human Rin!" she laughed. "It means I no longer eat meat or use animal products. I've adopted a vegetarian lifestyle.

"Veg-e-tarian?"

"A vegetarian eats plants-like fruit, vegetables and seeds. They don't eat meat."

Rin thought about this for a minute. "Like Ah-Uh?"

Kagome clapped her hands at the young girl's quick grasp. "Exactly! Ah-Un is an herbivore, since they only eat grass."

"What about Master Jaken? I've seen him eat bugs!" Rin confided, making a face.

"If that's all he eats, then he's an insectivore."

Shippo, who had been listening, asked playfully, "Does that make Inuyasha a ramenivore, since he only eats ramen?"

"Shut-up, runt!" came a warning floating down from the top of a nearby tree. Kagome and the two kids stifled their giggles.

Intrigued, Rin continued, "What about me? I eat vegetables and fish. Do I have a special name?"

"Omnivores eat both plants and animals."

"And my Lord Sesshoumaru?"

Kagome paused, not wishing to offend. "Oh… uh I would guess a carnivore," she said carefully.

"Carn-i-vore," the youngster repeated. "What do they eat?"

A deep baritone cut in, ending the conversation.

"Carnivores eat vegetarians."

* * *

A/N: I admit, this one tickled me to no end. Others must have liked it too, it won first place! \0/ yay! I hope _you_ enjoy it, thanks for reading!


	45. Silent But Deadly

Prompt: Nerve  
Word Count: 200  
Genre: Humor  
Rating: T  
Warning: Shields up! Raunchy humor and words.  
Summary: _Everything_ about him is silent but deadly.  
Date Posted: 6/12/10

* * *

Thoroughly irritated, Kagome lay in bed flipping angrily through a magazine. She pointedly ignored the demon writhing in pain next to her.

"I warned you, but would you listen? Nooooo. Your over-blown pride made you challenge Grandpa, and now you're paying the price. I _don't_ feel sorry for you!"

Sesshoumaru tried valiantly to bite back a strangled groan, but it escaped nevertheless.

She flipped a page hard, tearing it. "_I'm a big, bad demon… I can handle anything you can dish out, old man!_" she mocked in a high-pitched, sing-song voice.

"Well he handed you your _ass_ when he handed you that bowl of secret-family-recipe chili, didn't he? I bet he made it super-special, just for you! Now _I_ get to suffer through your misery!"

Sesshoumaru buried his head under a pillow.

"Males! Idiots… the whole lot of you!"

Kagome continued to rip through her magazine, still fuming.

Without warning, a horrid, rancid stench surrounded her, burning her nose and stinging her eyes. The ominous odor grew stronger, fouling the entire room. Blinded by tears and unable to draw breath, she leaped out of bed and ran for her life.

"Gods, Sesshoumaru! What the _hell_ did you pass? Nerve gas?"

* * *

A/N: Sorry about that readers, I was in a silly mood that night. This won first place, which surprised but pleased me, lol! Thanks for reading! :)


	46. Speed Demon

Prompt: Triple  
Word count: 400  
Genre: Humor  
Rating: K  
Date Posted: 7/26/10

* * *

With her friends busy elsewhere, Kagome took advantage of the down time to complete her homework. She was so intent, she didn't notice when Sesshoumaru stood before her.

Tired of her obliviousness, he spoke to gain her attention.

"Miko."

Startled from deep concentration, Kagome nearly jumped out of her skin. Gasping and clutching her book to her chest, she managed to squeak out a respectful acknowledgment. "Sesshoumaru-sama please excuse me, I didn't see you there!"

He raised one eyebrow, wondering how she managed to survive from one day to the next with such distracted mindlessness. She must have great faith in the protective abilities of her companions.

"I have need of your services. Come." He turned and silently walked away.

Annoyed by his arrogance, Kagome was nevertheless curious. She placed her book on the ground and rose to follow the Daiyoukai. As she struggled to keep up with his long strides, she mulled over the possible reasons Sesshoumaru might require her help. It must be a healing or spiritual problem. She was sure he could handle anything else by himself.

As they neared Sesshoumaru's portion of the camp, she could hear Jaken speaking rapidly to himself.

"ImustheatwaterformyLord'stea!" The little imp moved quickly in the direction of the stream.

"ButfirstImustbuildafire!" With that, he changed direction and ran toward the fire pit.

"Wood!Ineedtocollectthewood!" Jaken changed direction yet again and rushed toward the forest for kindling.

Sesshoumaru's penetrating gaze shifted to the young priestess. "He is possessed by a demon I do not recognize. Have you encountered this before?"

Kagome blanched and swallowed hard. Unfortunately, she had a very good idea what was causing the odd behavior.

"Ah, you see… Jaken came to me very tired. He's stressed, hasn't been sleeping well and takes three steps to one of yours. He knows I carry medicine and he asked if I had some kind of restorative. He NEVER asks for my help and I felt sorry for him…"

Her words trailed off as she saw Sesshoumaru now understood this was her doing.

"_This_ is the result of a potion?"

Kagome smiled foolishly and tried to wave away his seriousness. "It's not a potion, it's a stimulant. I gave him a triple shot expresso. Don't worry, he's ok. It'll wear off shortly."

Jaken, seeing his master, barreled toward him squawking loudly.

"Mylord,forgiveme!Ohyes,TEA!I'mmakingtea!We'llneedfirefirst!"

Sesshoumaru glared at Kagome. "I am not the one who should be worried."

* * *

A/N: Sorry I've been absent, this summer with the kids has kept me extremely busy. Anyway... this won second place, YAY! Thanks for reading! :)


	47. Undesirable Attributes

Prompt: List  
Word Count: 200  
Genre: Humor  
Rating: T  
Summary: Kagome makes a list.  
Date Posted: 8/2/10

* * *

"_Please_ accept I said 'no' and move on. Knowing my reasons serves no purpose."

Sesshoumaru regarded her quizzically. "I am considered a prime prospect in both youkai and human societies. Your refusal of me is absurd." His nostrils flared ever so slightly as he tested the air. "I _know_ you find me desirable."

Kagome's ears burned as her face pinked with embarrassment. It irritated her that he could discern her involuntary excitement, but what _really_ pushed her button was that implication of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

With fists on traitorous hips, Kagome confronted him. "You want to know? **Fine!** You encompass so _many_ character flaws, it's unbelievable!"

Bringing her hands up, she ticked off fingers as she recited vehemently. "You're arrogant, combative, selfish, prideful, tempera_mental_ and humorless!"

Seeing she had his full attention, she continued. "No self-respecting female fancies a potential partner exhibiting so many undesirable qualities!"

He contemplated her silently. Initially angered, Kagome now just felt horrible for her raw bluntness. Perhaps she said too much.

"You have given me much thought and must therefore be intrigued. I am encouraged to press my suit."

Kagome smacked her palm against her forehead. "Stubborn too!"

* * *

A/N: We all agreed we'd take him, character flaws and all. This took joint second place, YAY! Thanks for reading! :)


	48. Throwdown

Prompt: Perfect  
Word Count: 100  
Genre: Ridiculous  
Rating: Playful  
Warning: Fanpoodles yapping.  
Summary: Sesshoumaru rises to the challenge.  
Date Posted: 8/14/10

**A/N:** I will attempt to explain. LC Rose and I were chatting. I said, "Wouldn't it be awesome if Sesshoumaru was writing fanfiction under the name of Forthrightly? Why don't you use that for the 'Perfect' prompt?" At first she said no, but gradually changed her mind. Our friend, LordRandallsLady was dragged into our shenanigans and wrote a companion piece to LC's entry.

LC Rose's **Perfection in a Name **www. fanfiction .net/s/4888688/39/Perfection_Oneshot_Prompts (You need to remove the spaces to link.)

LordRandallsLady's **Praising Perfection **www. fanfiction .net/s/5843663/20/ (You need to remove the spaces to link.)

_:Hangs head in shame:_

Since it was my plot dust-bunny that escaped from under the bed, and a trio can't exist with only two… I added a companion piece to LC Rose's and LordRandallsLady offerings. May Forthrightly forgive me…

*Excerpt from LC's Forthrightly Facts: _Forthsaiga is the name of Forth's pen. It can write a 1000 word prompt pieces in a single strike…and they all place first._

* * *

With Kagome safely out of the house, Sesshoumaru logged into his LJ account, sighing as he did so. A situation in his favorite contest community had become completely ridiculous.

Choosing a gender-neutral name and disguising his personality with slight 'fluffing' had somehow attracted three rabid fanpoodles. Not only did they mistake him for a female, they imagined themselves in his league.

Hn.

The line had finally been crossed when all three challenged him to best their entries for the latest prompt. They were one hundred years too late to defeat him.

Time to wield Forthsaiga and throw the perfect oneshot.

* * *

A/N: This was a fun challenge! Forth generously made everyone who entered their own banner... which amounted to something like 37! Mine had my user icon one it, and l o o k s AWESOME!


	49. Dangerous Game

Prompt: Tame  
Word Count: 300  
Genre: LC Rose style Inu-endo and Hentai  
Rating: **M**mmm…  
Warning: Whip but no chair.  
Summary: Kagome walks on the wild side with Sesshoumaru.  
Date Posted: 8/27/10

* * *

A fine sheen of sweat glistens upon Sesshoumaru's exposed skin. His flanks of pale alabaster are beautifully striped with a precise intricate pattern.

A sinister black whip snakes across the dungeon floor behind him with an evil hiss. As the slave, he is not permitted to move, but his acute hearing picks out the slight drag of cruel knots tied at the end of its braided twin tips.

This is no ordinary lash.

The hide, from a foolish bull youkai, retains a unique property… injuries from it don't heal quickly.

Wielded correctly, it satisfies the dark feral hunger howling in the daiyoukai's soul.

Anticipation shivers through his body.

Stiletto heels leisurely tap across the dank stone. The Priestess gathers up the bloodied length into coils as she strolls near the cold metal frame he's spread over. A delicate hand, gloved in matching bullhide, pats his ass affectionately as she inspects her handiwork.

"One or two more, I think…" she murmurs. Sesshoumaru can barely see the toes of her patent-leather boots through the curtain of silver hair that shields his face. Claw-tipped hands, lethal dealers of death, grip a bar of the rack tighter.

The dominatrix backs slowly, step by step, until she's fifteen feet away. The coils in her hand fall to the floor.

She makes him wait.

A whistle through the air is the only warning he receives before the wicked lash pops yet another fiery kiss across his unresisting flesh. He feels control slipping as two more strikes bite in rapid succession.

White corneas darken to deep crimson as lips pull back from elongating canines. A guttural snarl escapes his throat. He can barely hear her jeering laugh through the roar filling his head.

One last stroke, fully charged with Priestess Kagome's purifying energy, finally releases the beast.

* * *

A/N: Eh he he... I have _no_ idea what got into me this week. Kagome is just a touch OOC in this, but I think I have Sesshoumaru nailed! This won a joint fourth place, yay! Thanks for reading! :)


	50. Gifts That Keep on Giving

Prompt: Chest  
Word Count: 200  
Genre: Humor  
Rating: T  
Warning: If you don't know what to get, gift certificates are usually safe.  
Summary: Choosing the right gift can be _so_ hard sometimes, lol!  
Date Posted: 10/8/10

A/N: This rose out of a **lrdrandallslady** typo during chat, and so I dedicate it to her. Thank-you for letting me play with it Heather!

* * *

Kagome teetered on the knife-edge of temptation, about to succumb. She stared at the beautifully wrapped package sitting in front of her. Pangs of guilt twanged the strings of her conscience.

She wasn't normally a snooper. After discovering the gift Sesshoumaru chose for her sitting on a shelf in the closet last week, she was filled with simple, playful curiosity. But as time grew shorter, Kagome became desperately obsessed. If she only knew what he'd selected for her, it might inspire something for him.

It was their first-year anniversary, and as far as commercial gifts went, nothing seemed good enough-or else it was out of her price range. But what did she expect when trying to choose for a centuries-old demon lord who had everything? She no longer felt like she had a option.

It took time and patience to peel back the paper without tearing it, but she needed it pristine. Finally it was done and she sat there, stunned.

Shake Weight, for building muscle in arms, shoulders and _chest_?

'_Well 'Mr. Boob', let me show you what I think of your gift!'_ she fumed as she fired up her computer and began searching for male enhancement products.

* * *

A/N: I haven't abandoned or disappeared, I promise! I just got back from a vacation in Atlantic City and I have been working on a multi-chapter birthday fic for my good friend LC Rose. (She has _graciously_ given her permission (demanded) I publicly post it when it's done, but... uh... it is tailor-made for her, and is _very _different from what I normally post. I think she just wants to see me make a fool of myself, lol!) Thanks for sticking with me! :)


	51. Out of Time

Prompt: Below  
Word Count: 200  
Genre: Humor  
Rating: T  
Warning: Naughty word play.  
Summary: Kagome learns what it means to be late.  
Date Posted: 11/21/10

A/N: To all my faithful readers, thank-you for your patience and support. I'll try to organize myself better and update more often than I have been.

I'd just like to say, many of you (LC Rose, MoonPrincess 1989, clara954, Rudhu, Dark Dream Angel, Missluver09, K. Mitsuko and yuMeNami... to name a few) are kind enough to review often, and it is much appreciated.

* * *

_**Where** is it?_ It has to be here somewhere; certainly she'd remember if she ever returned wearing only one.

"Time to go," Sesshoumaru called from downstairs.

"Hold on a sec, I'm looking for my shoe."

"Wear a different pair."

"If I change my shoes, I'll have to change my dress."

Sesshoumaru pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation. She'd changed clothes three times already. The last fifteen minutes had been spent trying on various shoes, all black. How many pairs of black shoes does one female need?

"Miko, as the guest of honor, I cannot be late.

Kagome-disregarding his annoyance—continued to look _everywhere_ for the stray, atop shelving and below the bed.

As the wife of a powerful, impossibly handsome Daiyoukai, she would be the subject of meticulous scrutiny by every covetous female attending tonight's soiree. Any perceived flaw would make her the object of their gossip and ridicule.

_Aha! Under the dresser!_

"Kagome!"

"Just a sec!"

"Enough! There will be no more secs!"

Dragging the shoe out, she stepped into it and glanced at the mirror. Perfect!

She descended, smiling impishly. "No more sex? Forgive me! Who knew the punishment for tardiness could be so harsh?"

* * *

A/N: I bet he lets her off with just a warning, lol! This won first place this week, hooray! Thanks for reading... : )


	52. Tuned Out

Prompt: Merit  
Word Count: 300  
Genre: Humor  
Rating: K  
Warning:  
Summary: If he won't listen to her, she'll give him something else to listen to.  
Posted: 11/30/10

* * *

Kagome was supposed to be preparing dinner in Kaede's hut, but her mind was overly preoccupied by an encounter she had with Sesshoumaru.

_He makes me SO mad!_ she seethed, crashing the blade of the knife down on the hapless cabbage.

_I respectfully suggest he go a little easier on Inuyasha during their training sessions—the poor guy can't heal up from one lesson to the next—and what does he say? _

Kagome mocked him aloud with an exaggerated version of his face and tone as she recited his words,"Beings of merit can bear it."

She snorted her derision._ I suppose that's his cruel version of 'No pain, no gain!' It's as stupid in this era as it is in mine! Like Inuyasha would somehow be lacking if he doesn't handle the punishment Sesshoumaru deals him._

She slapped the knife down. _I wonder if that arrogant demon can swallow his own medicine!_

With Inuyasha recovering from that day's training, Kagome quietly slipped away during dinner. Once home, she found what she was looking for and returned before she was missed.

"Rin, this was mine when I was your age and I'd like you to have it." Kagome handed her a translucent pink plastic recorder. "It's like a flute, and the more you practice, the better you'll become!"

Delighted with such a wondrous gift, Rin vowed to practice diligently. Soon the air was filled with discordant notes, enthusiastically blown as loud as possible.

Sesshoumaru appeared before Rin in a flash, holding out his hand for the instrument. She reluctantly-but obediently-handed it over. Just then, Kagome stepped up behind him and whispered, "Beings of merit can bear it!"

Sesshoumaru inspected the recorder briefly and handed it back—intact.

"Instruct Rin and I will acquiesce to your wishes concerning Inuyasha."

* * *

A/N: Ah, the dreaded instrument of torture wielded by a tireless child! This won first place, hooray! Thanks for reading! :)


	53. Ripped Off

Prompt: Ripped  
Word Count: 100  
Genre: Inu-endo, humor  
Rating: T  
Summary: Kagome knows just how she wants it!  
Posted: 12/13/10

* * *

"Sesshoumaru, do it fast. If you go slowly, it'll hurt so much I won't be able to bear it. I want this over and done with as quickly as possible!"

"Believing speed will permit you to avoid pain is a child's fantasy. Allow me to take my time."

Kagome shook her head. "I don't care if you think I'm wrong. Do it my way or I'll ask someone else… like Inuyasha!

"That will not be necessary."

She squeezed her eyes shut in fearful anticipation. "Ready," she ground out through clenched teeth.

Sesshoumaru gripped the edge of the band-aid and yanked.

* * *

A/N: I like it fast myself, but I can appreciate it done slowly, lol! Thanks for Reading!


	54. Wet Dream

Prompt: Congealed  
Word Count: 200  
Genre: Humor  
Rating: K  
Warning: Sticky stuff  
Summary: What Sesshoumaru's cloud is made of…  
Posted: 12/17/10

* * *

She'd been near when Sesshoumaru's vapor coalesced under his feet. As he began to rise, Kagome leaped. Landing atop the trailing end of Mokomoko, she straddled the thick fur. Bare thighs clamped and fingers gripped as she held on for dear life.

The tail of Mokomoko, though soft and warm, was not the best place for a wind-swept ride. Kagome snapped to and fro as speed and altitude increased. In danger of being dislodged, she inch-wormed up the pelt until she gained the diayoukai's cloud. He seemed tolerant of her presence, so she dared to crawl onto the puffy surface. The congealed mass gently embraced her. Pulling up a hand, she examined what stuck to her fingers.

It smelled… sweet. A tentative lick revealed it was the most heavenly fluff she'd ever tasted. Ravenous, she greedily scooped handfuls into her mouth.

When his booted foot nudged her, she swatted it hard. How _dare_ he disturb her?

"Miko!" His angry tone chilled her very soul.

Kagome shivered as the fog of sleep was rudely torn away.

Why was she soaking wet?

Sesshoumaru's boot nudged her again, harder this time, as a cloudburst drenched the campsite.

"We are leaving to seek shelter."

* * *

A/N: I bet his cloud tastes like marshmallow fluff flavored cotton candy! This won third, whoo-hoo! Thanks for reading!


	55. Mistaken Identity

Prompt: Prank  
Word Count: 100  
Genre: Humor  
Rating: K  
Summary: Shippo gets used in a con.  
Dated posted: 12/26/10

* * *

"Monk, the slayer is worthy of better!"

"Y…yes Sesshoumaru-sama!"

Stepping deep into shadow, Shippo dropped his illusion.

He fooled the _priest_!

The celebration ended abruptly as a cold voice asked, "You _dare_ impersonate me?"

"It was Kagome's idea, to discourage Miroku's lechery!"

"Hn."

oOoOo

Kagome gasped as the 'daiyoukai' stalked her. Recovering, she giggled. "Shippo, you have his mannerisms down so well, it's creepy!"

The youkai advanced until he towered over her, his predatory gaze unwavering.

"S…Shippo?"

Leaning in, his warm lips brushed hers… then he disappeared.

"Kagome?" The kit's voice came from behind.

She whirled. "If you're… who was _that_?"

* * *

A/N: Hahahaha! Silly, but I can't help myself sometimes. Happy to say, this won second place! Thanks for reading! :)


	56. Pissing Contest

Title: Pissing Contest  
Author: pos_sess_ed  
Prompt: Twist  
Word Count: 300  
Genre: Humor  
Rating: T  
Warning: Yes, extreme immaturity.  
Summary: You can take the dog out of the fight, but you can't take the fight out of the dog.  
Date Posted: 3/2/11

* * *

The snow-laden pines effectively muffled the sounds of the forest. For the three humans trudging along in tracks left by the inu brothers, quiet was a welcome change. Ever since Sesshoumaru joined up with them, they'd heard and seen enough competitive posturing to last them all a lifetime.

"Kagome, I'm impressed. There hasn't been a challenge issued between them all day. Tell me, how _did_ you get those two to stop their squabbling?" Miroku inquired.

Shippo leaned forward from his perch on the monk's shoulder. "Yeah, they seem to be working together today without a problem!"

Kagome tried not to sound _too_ proud of her skill as a mediator. "I told them they needed to stop wasting their energy fighting each other. We have to work together as a team if we are going to have any hope of defeating Naraku."

Sango gave a quiet snort as she addressed the diminutive nekoyoukai she carried. "Kirara, she also told them she'd purify their swords if they pulled them on each other one more time!"

"Ok, I may have issued that threat while trying to reason with them, but come on; do you really think Sesshoumaru would be intimidated by that? Obviously they saw the merit of my argument and decided to behave in a more mature manner..."

Kagome's words trailed away as everyone stopped and stared at the two names written in the snow in front of them.

"Wow," said Shippo, visibly impressed. "Guess they decided to wield their swords after all."

"How'd Sesshoumaru do that in block letters? I thought guys couldn't stop in midstream…" Sango mused.

"We can, but it's really difficult," opined Miroku. "Such _amazing_ control..."

"Oh how childish!" fumed Kagome. "Even worse, that little twist there makes it look as though Inuyasha misspelled his own name!"

* * *

A/N: Sorry! Sorry! I have no idea why this popped out of my head, lol! This won second place, hooray! Thanks for reading! :)


	57. Riding Lessons

Prompt: Urge  
Word Count: 200  
Genre: Inu-endo  
Rating: T  
Warning: Tame and Canon, as usual  
Summary: Who says nothing good happens at that time of the night?  
Date Posted: 3/14/11

* * *

It was her first time, so Sesshoumaru chivalrously agreed to Kagome's request that he adjust to better accommodate her. He understood she was nervous and a little scared, but he looked forward to the day she was confident and comfortable enough to _really_ handle him.

His consideration was quickly rewarded when long legs wrapped his torso appreciatively. Toned calves and thighs gripped him tight, effectively securing her body to his. Kagome's natural aptitude surprised him as she instinctively picked up the rhythm of his rocking motion.

Before long, he felt Kagome dig her heels into his muscled flanks, fearlessly urging him to take her higher. Sesshoumaru thrust forward powerfully, answering her demand for more while keeping her human limitations in mind.

Her fingers, threaded through the silky hair at his nape, clutched reflexively in wild exhilaration. He succeeded in coaxing spontaneous, pleasured gasps from her, and though that stroked his ego mightily, he resisted the temptation to fully unleash himself.

Sesshoumaru's tongue lolled happily. Tonight his mate reveled in the joy of galloping across midnight skies astride a dog the size of a horse. Soon, she'd experience what it was like to be atop one the size of a mountain.

* * *

A/N: You weren't thinking something naughty, were you? I thought not... This won second place, hooray! Thanks for reading! :)


	58. The Murky Depths of Morality

Prompt: Murky  
Word Count: 100  
Genre: Horror  
Rating: T  
Warning: Let your conscience be your guide.  
Summary: Where does your moral compass point?  
Date Posted: 5/12/11

* * *

"I'll do anything. Just please… don't kill him!" begged the prostrated miko.

Father's detestable _indiscretion _hung limply from Sesshoumaru's claws, barely conscious.

"Inuyasha betrayed you by handing your shards to Kikyou. Why would you make such a foolish promise?"

Kagome raised her tear-stained face to meet his implacable gaze. "I… I love him," she whispered guiltily.

"Hn. I accept your proposition. He will be returned to your camp."

"Oh Sesshoumaru, how can I ever thank you?"

"Entertain my carnal desires for one night."

"I can't!" she protested, knowing Inuyasha would never accept it.

"Do as you please." Sesshoumaru's fingers tightened.

* * *

A/N: *mentally replaces Kagome's "I can't" with "Hell **YES**!"

Huh? What? LOL, sorry... I was daydreamin' for a second there. This won second place, hooray! Thanks for reading. :)

Also, for whatever reason, this site isn't allowing me to reply to reviews. I suppose it is yet another glitch they're having. Anyway, thank-you for your kind words and delightful comments, they are a joy to read!


	59. As Luck Would Have It

Title: As Luck Would Have It  
Prompt: Glance  
Word Count: 100  
Genre: Humor  
Rating: K  
Summary: You win some, you lose some.  
Date Posted: 6/20/2011

* * *

Kagome's first arrow glanced off Tetsusaiga, halting the fang's transformation. That was fine, except she'd been aiming for the jewel shard in Sesshoumaru's borrowed arm.

Unfortunately, that bit of luck destroyed the element of surprise. Sesshoumaru easily dodged her second shot.

The demon rushed her, intending to eliminate the threat she posed. If Inuyasha hadn't jumped in then and drawn Sesshoumaru's ire, she'd be dead.

_Third time's a charm, right?_

Holding her breath, Kagome drew back the bowstring. Adrenaline-fueled tremors shook her sweaty hands.

The string slipped smoothly off her fingers and… she watched her arrow shatter Sesshoumaru's breastplate.

_Uh-oh._

* * *

A/N: _That_ probably got his attention back on her, lol! This won third, thank-you voters. I also thank YOU for reading!


	60. TellTale Signs

Prompt: Nibble  
Word Count: 200  
Rating: T  
Genre: Titillating  
Warning: Watch your mannerisms!  
Summary: Lunching with the ladies teaches Kagome a valuable lesson.  
Date: 8/01/11

* * *

On a recent visit home, the girls cajoled Kagome into joining them at their favorite hamburger stand. Eri, always eager to offer advice about anyone's love life shared this little tidbit.

"You know," she stated with some authority, "they say you can tell what kind of lover a man will be by the way he eats."

Thinking of Inuyasha devouring ramen, Kagome choked on a fry.

"What does _that_ mean?" asked Yuka as she pounded her friend on the back.

"A man who shovels down his food may only be seeking a quick release. One who nibbles may lack an adventuresome spirit and be far too cautious for a good romp, while a man who savors his meal is enjoying what he's putting in his mouth, if you know what I mean."

Ayumi began openly observing the nearby male patrons, giggling into her hand as she did so. "Eri, I don't know where you come up with this stuff, but I'm glad you do!"

Later, that particular conversation floated to the forefront of Kagome's mind as she watched a certain daiyoukai leisurely enjoy a sumptuous dinner of roast rabbit. He caught her staring as he slowly licked each finger clean.

* * *

A/N: My house is undergoing a complete gutting and renovation, so I get to spend my days picking out things like doors, wood trim, outlets, faucets, etc. I think my brain is melting...

This won second place, hooray! Thanks for reading! :)


	61. Be Careful What You Wish For

Prompt: Rinse  
Word Count: 400  
Genre: Humor  
Rating: K  
Summary: Kagome wishes something different would happen once in a while.  
Date Posted: 8/8/11

* * *

"We're back!" exclaimed Sango as she and Miroku returned to camp one evening. They'd been gone for over two weeks to have Hiraikotsu repaired and were only too happy to be rejoining their friends. "Did you manage to stay out of trouble while we were gone?"

Kagome smiled weakly and welcomed the taijiya with a warm embrace. "Oh… you know… the usual. A crazed youkai kidnaps me, it takes Inuyasha a couple of days to track us down, the creature attempts to kill me, Inuyasha destroys it and I purify the shard… lather, rinse, repeat."

Miroku laughed. "So we didn't miss anything, it was business as usual."

"Pretty much," the young miko sighed wearily. She returned to the fire, rotating the skewered fish she had roasting. "You're just in time for dinner. Inuyasha and Shippo are off fetching the water for ramen."

Sango took notice of Kagome's listless tone and the melancholy that emanated from her in palatable waves. Shooing Miroku, she stepped up to help with the dinner preparations. "Do you want to talk about what's bothering you?"

Kagome half-heartedly shrugged. "It's nothing really."

A second later it all poured forth from her in a torrent.

"I'm just tired and frustrated. Lately it feels as though I'm on some sort of treadmill. The same things happen over and over, with only slight variations."

Her voice rose in volume.

"I never seem to get any closer to my goal of completing the Jewel, Naraku is as elusive as ever, and Inuyasha refuses to deal with his feelings for Kikyou!"

Sango tried to wrap her head around the young girl's complaint. "We're on a mission to track and kill a horrible, evil mutant before he destroys the world and you're telling me you're _bored_?"

Kagome shook her head. "I just wish something _different_ would happen for once."

No sooner were the words out of her mouth when Sesshoumaru appeared before her, the remaining shards in his outstretched hand.

"Miko, complete and purify the Jewel. Afterwards, do as you wish, but abandon the hunt for the spider hanyou. As my chosen mate, Naraku is under my protection."

To Sango he added, "The curse in the monk's hand is lifted and Tenseiga has restored your family. Seek revenge no longer."

With that, the inuyoukai disappeared. Only a lingering trace of youki marked his passing.

Bewildered, Kagome wondered, "Well, _now_ what do we do?"

* * *

A/N: Ah yes, business as usual, lol! This won joint third, I'm happy to say! Destruction of my house continues... hopefully _re-construction_ will happen soon. Thanks for reading!


	62. That's Knot Funny

Prompt: Knot  
Word Count: 200  
Rating: K  
Genre: Humor  
Warning: Bad Pun  
Summary: Sitting around the campfire one night, Kagome decides to share a joke with her friends.  
Date Posted: 10/17/11

A/N: Apologies for my long absences! The first floor of our home was gutted in July and it has taken a great deal of time and effort to put things back together again. The end is in sight (We have walls, some doors and floors again, bathrooms, laundry room and windows soon!) Thanks for hanging in there with me, I love you guys!

* * *

"I know a joke so funny; I bet it makes Sesshoumaru laugh."

Sango encouraged Kagome. "Please share it with us!"

"This piece of string is walking down the road…"

"Possessed or under an evil enchantment?" asked Miroku.

"Uh… neither. It's just a piece of string."

Shippo looked confused. "With legs?"

"Course it has legs, runt!" Inuyasha bopped the kitsune's head. "How else is it walkin'?

"_Anyway_," continued Kagome. "The string becomes very thirsty and decides to step into an inn for a drink. When he tries to order, the innkeeper shouts at him, 'Get out! We don't serve your kind here!' The poor string leaves."

"I know _that_ story," muttered the hanyou.

"The string walks a little further down the road until he comes to another inn. Remembering what happened last time, he loops his body around and threads his head through. He frizzes up his hair before going inside. As soon as the innkeeper sees him, he shouts, 'We don't serve string here!' But the string says, 'I may look like a piece of string, but I'm afraid not.' A_ frayed knot_!"

Her friends groaned, but Kagome smiled wide as a mirthful snort came from under a nearby tree.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading. Hopefully my time will loosen up, allowing me to contribute more often than I have been lately. :)  
(This entry won first place, hooray!)


	63. Hang Up

Prompt: Mount  
Word Count: 200  
Genre: Humor  
Rating: T  
Warning:  
Summary: The first time is always the hardest.  
Date Posted: 12/12/11

* * *

"I assume you know what you're doing… I mean, you _have_ done this before, right?" she asked apprehensively.

Since he was positioned behind her, she couldn't see the disdainful look Sesshoumaru shot her. "Once or twice, in the _hundreds_ of years I have walked this earth."

"Your sarcasm does nothing for my confidence!" she snapped. "It just doesn't feel right to me. I think it's too high…"

"I assure you, it is not," he huffed. "Perhaps _you_ should be holding it, then it will be exactly where you think it should go."

"Hmm," she murmured, still unsure.

"What reservations do you have now?"

"Can we straighten it out?"

A groan escaped him.

She began babbling. "I'm nervous because I _really_ want it to be perfect the first time, and I'm afraid of making a mistake! If I go ahead, and find I was wrong…"

"I have no desire to remain this way all night; you must make a decision."

"I know you're right. Gods… go ahead and push it in, I guess."

Under the pad of his thumb, the nail sank into the wall.

Kagome straightened the picture, then stepped back to eye it critically. "Ugh! It's too low."

"Hn."

* * *

A/N: I NOW HAVE BATHROOMS! -Ridiculously excited about this. This entry won first place, thank-you voters!

Happy holidays to my readers, thanks for a wonderful year!


	64. I'll Show You Mine if You Show Me Yours

Prompt: Secret  
Word Count: 100  
Genre: Humor or Horror, depends which side of the fence you're on.  
Rating: M  
Warning: Encounter of the third kind.  
Summary: Some things are not as they appear.  
Date Written: 12/20/11

* * *

Clawed fingers slid up silken thigh. A feeble push at his hand was all the miko could manage.

Easily crushing her token resistance, he tongued her excited nipples roughly.

Eager fingers touched lace edging. Tearing her panty, he continued, only to find his exploration blocked by something foreign.

Growling low, he pulled it from her body. She bucked beneath him, yelping in pain.

The offending thing clung to his fingers. Try as he might, he could not shake it loose.

A spray of dokatsu dissolved the tape.

His hand slipped under her skirt again and this time encountered her… _penis?_

* * *

A/N: I have no excuse for this atrocity, other than I must have been under the crushing pressure of Christmas, lol! Thanks for reading!


	65. Keep an Eye Out

Prompt: Bind  
Word Count: 100  
Genre: Horrible Humor  
Rating: T  
Warning: Totally tasteless.  
Summary: Kagome should have seen this coming.  
Date Posted: 1/10/12  
A/N: This idea showed up during a serious conversation with **lrdrandallslady**. (Sorry about the whole tea-spitting and choking thing.)

* * *

Lifting the door flap, Sesshoumaru swiftly crossed Kaede's threshold. The two females inside panted heavily from the exertion of their recent 'wrestling' match.

"Kagome."

The young priestess whirled around.

Behind her, Sesshoumaru could see the elderly miko sitting hunched on the floor, arms bound behind her. Hanks of scraggly hair hung limply over her wrinkled face, but even so, he could see her eye patch was missing.

"Explain."

"I'm taking back what she's stolen!" Kagome defiantly hissed.

Smacking Kaede sharply on the back of the head, she deftly caught the Jewel as it popped out of the old woman's skull.

* * *

A/N: This won first place, thank-you voters! In other news, I slipped off a step and dislocated my ankle while breaking both bones in my leg. I am currently bed-ridden, with surgery tentatively scheduled for Thurs. I have no idea where this might lead as far as writing is concerned. Should I be allowed to write while on pain medication? I may have to run things by my friends before publishing, lol!

As always, thanks for reading!


	66. Life Sentence

Prompt: Finale  
Word Count: 100  
Rating: T  
Genre: Humor  
Warning: Threat of character death… or at least dis-member-ment.  
Summary: It can be hard putting up with a spouse's idiosyncrasies.  
Date Posted: 12/07/12

**A/N:**Final entry due to the closure of the Dokuga_Contest community.

"I read somewhere that 'I am.' is the shortest sentence in the English language," remarked Kagome, matter-of-factly.

Sesshoumaru sighed. There was nothing his wife liked better than sharing bits of inane trivia.

"Oh yeah?" said Inuyasha, curiously. "What's the longest sentence?"

" 'I do.' " muttered Sesshoumaru, before he could silence himself.

"What do you mean?" asked Kagome. "That has the exact same number of words _and_ letters."

Inuyasha howled with laughter. Could Sesshoumaru talk his way out of this one? Obviously help was needed.

"He means that if he'd killed you on your honeymoon, he'd be eligible for parole by now."

A/N: Though I am sorry to see the Dokuga_Contest community close, I am happy to say this won second place. I apologize for my long absence, but RL problems must be dealt with. Thanks for reading!


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